Consumed by my loss, I didn’t notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend — my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer.
The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times.
Always supportive, mother clapped loudest at my school plays, held a box of tissues while listening to my first heartbreak, comforted me at my father’s death, encouraged me in college, and prayed for me my entire life.
When mother’s illness was diagnosed, my sister had a new baby and my brother had recently married his childhood sweetheart, so it fell on me, the 27-year-old middle child without entanglements, to take care of her. I counted it an honor.
“What now, Lord?” I asked sitting in church. My life stretched out before me as an empty abyss. My brother sat stoically with his face toward the cross while clutching his wife’s hand.
My sister sat slumped against her husband’s shoulder, his arms around her as she cradled their child. All so deeply grieving, no one noticed I sat alone. My place had been with our mother, preparing her meals, helping her walk, taking her to the doctor, seeing to her medication, reading the Bible together. Now she was with the Lord. My work was finished and I was alone.
I heard a door open and slam shut at the back of the church. Quick footsteps hurried along the carpeted floor. An exasperated young man looked around briefly and then sat next to me. He folded his hands and placed them on his lap. His eyes were brimming with tears.
He began to sniffle. “I’m late,” he explained, though no explanation was necessary. After several eulogies, he leaned over and commented, “Why do they keep calling Mary by the name of ‘Margaret’?”
“Oh” “Because that was her name, Margaret. Never Mary. No one called her ‘Mary,’ I whispered. I wondered why this person couldn’t have sat on the other side of the church. He interrupted my grieving with his tears and fidgeting. Who was this stranger anyway?
“No, that isn’t correct,” he insisted, as several people glanced over at us whispering, “Her name is Mary, Mary Peters.”
“That isn’t who this is, I replied.”
“Isn’t this the Lutheran church?”
“No, the Lutheran church is across the street.”
“Oh.”
“I believe you’re at the wrong funeral, Sir.”
The solemnness of the occasion mixed with the realization of the man’s mistake bubbled up inside me and came out as laughter.
I cupped my hands over my face, hoping it would be interpreted as sobs.
The creaking pew gave me away. Sharp looks from other mourners only made the situation seem more hilarious. I peeked at the bewildered, misguided man seated beside me.He was laughing, too, as he glanced around, deciding it was too late for an uneventful exit.
I imagined mother laughing.
At the final “Amen,” we darted out a door and into the parking lot. “I do believe we’ll be the talk of the town,” he smiled. He said his name was Rick and since he had missed his aunt’s funeral, asked me out for a cup of coffee.
That afternoon began a lifelong journey for me with this man who attended the wrong funeral, but was in the right place.
A year after our meeting, we were married at a country church where he was the assistant pastor. This time we both arrived at the same church, right on time.In my time of sorrow, God gave me laughter. In place of loneliness, God gave me love. This past June we celebrated our twenty-second wedding anniversary. Whenever anyone asks us how we met, Rick tells them, “Her mother and my Aunt Mary introduced us, and it’s truly a match made in heaven.”
Category: Though Provoking
-
Thinking “Out of the Box”
Many hundreds of years ago in a small Italian town, a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the merchant’s beautiful daughter so he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the merchant’s debt if he could marry the daughter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.
The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag. The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender’s wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven.
But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant’s garden. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick her pebble from the bag.
What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
“Oh, how clumsy of me,” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.” Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an advantageous one.MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution, sometimes we have to think about them in a different way.
-
The Cracked Pot – A Wonderful Inspirational Story
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.
“I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.”
“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”
“I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”MORAL:
DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF BY COMPARING YOURSELF WITH OTHERS. IT’S OUR DIFFERENCES THAT MAKE US UNIQUE & BEAUTIFUL. -
NEED WASHING
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in a Store. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence.. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Store.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in ‘Mom let’s run through the rain,’ she said.
‘What?’ Mom asked.
‘Let’s run through the rain!’ She repeated
‘No, honey. We’ll wait until it slows down a bit,’ Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated: ‘Mom, let’srun through the rain,’
‘We’ll get soaked if we do,’ Mom said..
‘No, we won’t, Mom.. That’s not what you said this morning,’ the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom’s arm.
This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?
‘Don’t you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, ‘If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!’The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn’t hear anything but the rain.. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.
Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Nowsome would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a youngchild’s life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
‘Honey, you are absolutely right. Let’s run through the rain. If GOD lets us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing,’ Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories…So, don’t forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories every day. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
Take the time to live!!!
Keep in touch with your friends, you never know when you’ll need each other — and don’t forget to run in the rain -
Choices and Consequences
Five wise men got lost in the forest. The first one said: – I will go the left – my intuition tells me that. The second one said: – I will go the right – because “the right” comes from the word “rightness”.
The third one said: – I will go back – we came from there, it means I will go out from the forest. The fourth one said: – I will go straight – we should move forward, the forest will end and something new will open.The fifth said: – You are all wrong. There is a better solution. Wait for me. He found the tallest tree and climbed into it. While he was climbing everyone else scattered towards their own sides. From above he saw where they should go to leave the forest faster. Now he could even see in what order the other wise men will reach the end of the forest. He climbed higher and saw the shortest way. He understood the problem and found the best solution! He knew that he did everything right. And the others were wrong. They were stubborn and they didn’t listen to him. He was the real Wise Man! But he was wrong.
Everyone was right.
The one who went to the left, found himself in the thicket. He had to starve and fight with wild animals. But he learned how to survive in the forest; he became a part of the forest and could teach others the same.
The one, who went to the right, met thieves. They took everything from him and made him steal with them. But after some time, he had woken up something in those thieves that they have forgotten – humanity and compassion. The remorse was so strong in some of them, that after his death they also became the wise men.
The one, who went back, made a pathway through the forest, which soon became a road for those who wanted to walk in the forest without being afraid of getting lost.
The one, who went straight, became a pioneer. He visited the places where no one else was and opened wonderful new possibilities for people, amazing healing plants and magnificent animals.
The one, who climbed into the tree, became a specialist of finding short ways. People turned to him when they wanted to find the fastest way to deal with their problems, even if it didn’t lead to any development.This is how the five wise men reached their destiny.
“Choices made, whether good or bad, follow you forever and affect everyone in your path one way or other”
“You can’t blame anyone else… no one but yourself. You have to make your own choices & live every challenging day with the consequences of those choices”
“Sometimes you make choices & sometimes choices make you”
“One of the most incredible gifts provided to you is your “Power to Choose” -
The Cockroach Theory of Self development
At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.
Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky.
The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but …it landed on another lady in the group.
Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.
The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.
In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter.
The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.
Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?
If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?
He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.
It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.
I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.It’s not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.
More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.Lessons learnt from the story:
One should not react in life. Rather, One should always respond.
Here in this case, the women reacted, whereas the waiter responded.
Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of, just and right to save a situation from going out of hands, to avoid cracks in relationship, to avoid taking decisions in anger, anxiety, stress or hurry.
A beautiful way to understand…………LIFE.
Person who is HAPPY is not because Everything is RIGHT in their Life.
They are HAPPY because their Attitude towards Everything in their Life is Right !! -
Souls and Karmic Connections
We have traveled through many lifetimes and lived with many different souls amid family, friends or those who don’t really get along with us.
Some may have even tried to harm us emotionally, physically or spiritually.
All said and done, we all are the same and belong to only one group that is SOULS.
We all have traveled together in different lifetimes and have shared various relationships with each other……..
Father-mother
husband-wife
lover-partner
uncle-aunt
brother-sister
friends
neighbors
servants
drivers
and even
so-called enemies.
Each person is a Soul that tries to help the other move forward spiritually and reduce the Karmic baggage.
Sometimes the Soul that loves us the most, might willingly take birth as an enemy or a tormentor in a lifetime, just to help us work out our karma.
Thus, a person……who we think hates us and we in return hate………. might be our greatest well-wisher spiritually.
He or She may be responsible for our becoming spiritual or compassionate. That very person who is creating hell in our lives may bring us closer to spirituality.
In the present lifetime, he/she may be doing so because that could be the only way to teach us a lesson.
Sometimes, a Soul is reborn just to comfort us and be there in times of need.
So, who is our friend and who is our enemy?
They all are part of the Soul-Family who wants to help us and want help in return.
Sometimes an opportunity comes in the form of a Disaster.
Sometimes, the only way to grow spiritually and in life is through pain, sorrow and turmoil.
That is when Life seems strange!
Hence….. never form judgments…. abuse or hate….and never say nasty things about anyone.
Who knows we may be harming the Soul who loves us the most spiritually but are not able to recognize it as the soul is wearing a different body in this particular lifetime.Think about it !!
-
The Talking Bird
There is an old story about a fellow who lived alone and went to a pet store to buy a parrot. He thought
the bird might fill some of his lonely hours. The very next day, however, he came back to complain,
“That bird doesn’t talk.”
The store owner asked if he had a mirror in its cage, and the man said he didn’t. “Oh, parrots love mirrors,” he explained. “When he sees his reflection in the mirror, he’ll just start talking away.” So he sold him a birdcage mirror.
The bird owner was back the next day to gripe that his parrot still hadn’t said a word. “That’s very peculiar,” allowed the pet expert. “How about a swing? Birds really love these little swings, and a happy parrot is a talkative parrot.” So the man bought a swing, took it home, and installed it in the cage.
But he was back the next day with the same story. “Does he have a ladder to climb?” the salesman asked. “That just has to be the problem. Once he has a ladder, he’ll probably talk your ear off!” So the fellow bought a ladder.
The man was back at the pet store when it opened the next day. From the look on his face, the owner knew something was wrong. “Didn’t your parrot like the ladder?” he asked. His repeat customer looked up and said, “The parrot died.”
“I’m so sorry,” the stunned businessman said. “Did he ever say anything?”
“Well, yes. He finally talked just before he died. In a weak little voice, he asked me, “don’t they sell any bird seed at that pet store?’”
Some of us have mistakenly thought that happiness consists of lining our cages with toys, gadgets, and other stuff. Excessive consumption has become the hallmark of our life. “Whoever has the most toys wins” seems to be the likely candidate to be the bumper sticker for an entire culture. But is it so?
There is a spiritual hunger in the human heart that can’t be satisfied by seeing one’s own image reflected back in vanity mirrors, playing with our grown-up toys, or climbing the corporate ladder. Our hearts need real nourishment. The love of family and friends, relationships over the pursuit of more things, personal integrity, a secure connection to God –these are the things that feed the soul.
Have you chosen a life course that leads to a destination that matters? -
Elephant and Dog
An elephant and a dog became pregnant at same time. Three months down the line the dog gave birth to six puppies. Six months later the dog was pregnant again, and nine months on it gave birth to another dozen puppies. The pattern continued.
On the eighteenth month the dog approached the elephant questioning, “Are you sure that you are pregnant? We became pregnant on the same date, I have given birth three times to a dozen puppies and they are now grown to become big dogs, yet you are still pregnant. Whats going on?”. The elephant replied, “There is something I want you to understand. What I am carrying is not a puppy but an elephant. I only give birth to one in two years. When my baby hits the ground, the earth feels it. When my baby crosses the road, human beings stop and watch in admiration, what I carry draws attention. So what I’m carrying is mighty and great.”
Don’t lose faith when you see others receive answers to their prayers. Don’t be envious of others testimony. If you haven’t received your own blessings, don’t despair. Say to yourself “My time is coming, and when it hits the surface of the earth, people shall yield in admiration.”
Stay Encouraged!
-
The Peaceful Picture
Once upon a time, a king offered a wonderful prize to the artist who could paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried and the king received thousands of paintings. He studied each one very carefully and finally decided upon two that he really liked. He now had to choose between the two.
The first was a painting of a beautiful, calm lake, with crystal-clear water, surrounded by green, leafy forests and majestic mountains towering in the background. Overhead, the sky was a brilliant blue with scattered, fluffy, white clouds. All the king’s advisers agreed that this painting clearly showed a place of perfect peace.
The other painting had mountains too, but these were rugged and bare. Above them, was an angry sky from which heavy rain fell and lightning danced. A foaming waterfall tumbled down one side of the mountain. At first glance, the painting did not seem peaceful at all. However, when the king looked more closely, he noticed a tiny bush growing behind the waterfall. There, in the small bush, a mother bird had built her nest. In the midst of the rush of angry water, in the wind and the noise and the cold and the damp, the mother bird sat perfectly still on her nest – in perfect peace.
The king chose this painting as the one showing peace. When asked why, he replied: “Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, discomfort, trouble or hard work. Peace means to be in the middle of all of these things and yet, to find calm and quiet and gentleness in your heart and to carry on with your life – this is the real meaning of peace.”
Moral: We can find peace inside us even when everything around us seems to be chaotic.
